It's refreshing to see an article in support of midwives being given such a prominent spot in a mainstream publication. My friend Stacey of San Diego Bargain Mama passed along this link to a great article in the LA Times from a few days ago.
Jennifer Block, the author of this article and the book, Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care, presents a clear and well-researched argument in favor of a major overhaul of our modern maternity care in the United States. She goes as far as saying that midwives and out-of-hospital deliveries should be the primary option for birthing, while hospitals should be reserved only for high-risk pregnancies or medical emergencies. I'm with her all the way on this one!
My reasons for having a home-birth attended by a midwife were many: I didn't want to be pressured to have unnecessary (and billable) procedures or interventions; I wanted my baby with me immediately following the birth and not pestered by a team of strange hands; I wanted to labor in my own time and in my own way; I wanted the privacy of my home; plus, I trusted my midwife 100% more than my OB doctor.
Sidenote: When I got up the nerve, at eight months pregnant, to tell this particular OB that I was actually planning a home birth, he told me he didn't advise it because "he'd seen plenty of women try it and end up at the hospital with dead babies." (Go ahead, take a moment and gasp.) I kid you not! It was so ludicrous that I didn't even respond. So now you know one of the many reasons why I trusted my midwife more than my OB. (It's tempting to add an "S" to the front of his title, but I'm not that kind of gal.)
As it turned out, in case you're curious, Lucas was born at home, but the placenta wasn't. There was an ambulance ride to the hospital for me (and a car ride at one-hour-old for Lucas), whereupon I was grateful for a life-saving surgery and other marvels of modern medicine. (Ironically, guess who the OB on call was when I woke up from surgery? … Yep.)
So you might think that I'd be all about hospital births after that experience. I'm not. I am grateful Lucas was born peacefully at home, with no drugs or interventions, surrounded by familiar and loving voices. I also owe my life to the medical professionals who took the reins from there. The birth itself was not a medical emergency, but when one revealed itself, I got the care I needed. This makes perfect sense to me.
I'm interested in your thoughts on this topic and on Jennifer Block's article. Chime in below in the comments!
Birth, as a Rule, is Not a Medical Emergency
The Santa, Jesus, Pine Tree Connection
I'm staring at our Christmas tree, and for the third year in a row, I just don't get it.
Ever since Lucas was born, it's like some switch flipped in my brain, and I no longer understand why we have a Christmas tree. Living in San Diego, I don't feel connected to any sort of ritual of light in the midst of winter. We've only had a couple of days of rain amidst the usual sunny weather. No winter darkness here.
It's an artificial tree. Years ago we figured that was more environmentally sound than chopping down a whole tree only to throw it in the chipper a month later. There is no pine scent to remind me of my childhood.
Sure, Lucas gazes at it in wonder. And after he squeezed one glass ball into smithereens, cutting his tiny thumb in the process, he now knows the round ones aren't "onions". He loves pointing out and naming all the ornaments. That part is fun. He keeps trying to plug in the lights, though, and if he manages to electrocute himself, that will not be so fun.
The whole Santa, Jesus, pine tree connection is eluding me. It used to make such perfect sense. Why did having a child suddenly call it all into question?
This is the first year Lucas is old enough to get the back story on all of this. I was caught unprepared, and kind of fumbled my way through the Santa thing.
You see, there is this man, Santa, who has a toy workshop up at the North Pole, (which you can't conceptualize because you're two, and you can only think as far as Trader Joe's) where it's always snowy and white. (What's snow? It's cold white stuff that falls out of the sky when you don't live in San Diego. Just go with it, okay son?). Oh – and he has reindeer that fly, and they pull him through the air on this sleigh, which is like a really big stroller, I guess. Anyway, he makes all these toys for children and on Christmas Eve he puts them in his sleigh and the reindeer pull him around to all the houses. He will land on our roof and come in our house through the fireplace, (don't look so worried, it's okay – he's a good guy – look what he's going to do!) and then he'll leave you some toys and some treats in your stocking. (Fruit bars, you ask? Sure, why not.) Oh, and we'll leave him some milk and cookies and he'll eat them and then go to the neighbor's house.
Lucas woke up from his nap later that day babbling about panda bears that were going to bring him some presents and "fruit bars, maybe, if they have some."
I left the baby Jesus story up to my husband to tell. Since he was raised in the Baptist church, I figured he was better qualified. Though how a two-year old is going to understand the specialness of a baby who's supposed to save the world is beyond me. What does "world" mean to him?
Lucas' little mind is probably spinning, trying to fit this all into his current experience of reality.
Maybe that's why it no longer makes sense to me. Through the eyes of a small child, none of this makes any sense. We may as well be hanging onions on our tree and collecting fruit bars from panda bears.
Imaginary Friend or Visitor from the Spirit Realm?
Lucas is seeing them again.
Originally we figured they were fairies of some sort. Later, he was pleased to tell us that my deceased grandmother, Nani, was hanging around, usually eating an apple. Then there was the “something” that lived in the back bathroom, inspiring him to slam the door whenever it was left open and come running to hide behind my knees, demanding, “Who’s coming? Who’s coming?”
We actually found it rather fascinating to watch him interact with these “beings” that only he and the cats could see.
Then for a while, he didn’t talk about them at all. We were kind of disappointed. We were hoping he’d keep telling us about what he was seeing now that his language was developing so well.
Last week while I was changing his diaper, his face suddenly lit up in a big smile and he pointed up to the ceiling near the light fixture and said, “Hey! There’s a person up there!” Of course, I saw nothing. He was very excited about it, and so I asked him who it was. He paused a moment, looking up at the spot on the ceiling, and then replied, “Trea,” (like “tree” with an “a” at the end). I asked him what Trea looked like, and he said, “Purple and blue.” Hmmm...
…Which brings up the question of whether this is an imaginary creation or a visitor from another realm. I don’t know the answer. What I do know is that Trea has been hanging around a lot since then. We now know that Trea is a girl, and she is consistently purple, although sometimes purple and blue. She also has “browned” hair. When she’s not around, Lucas likes to call her on the phone and chat with her.
Whether Trea is an imaginary friend or real is anyone’s guess. Who knows? Maybe all those imaginary friends people had as children weren’t so imaginary after all. As long as Lucas feels comfortable and safe in their presence, I fully support whatever friends he wants to have, whether I can see them or not.
