My friend recently discovered that her son is intuitive. This is not the kind of thing that was ever discussed in her family. Her church community would likely find it very strange. The point being, this is not a woman seeking to project hippie aspirations on her offspring. She was caught by surprise with this discovery, and now finds herself wondering what it means for her as a mother.
What is she supposed to do differently now?
We had a conversation about this today and I thought I'd share the essence of my response to her question.
I think most of what I'm learning in this trial-by-fire classroom called parenting can be summarized in two words: authenticity and presence.
As mothers of very sensitive children, we are being called to become very aware and sensitive parents. Our kids feel any nuance of dishonesty, fear, superficiality, or negative energy, and they reflect it back to us, amplified. (This is not pretty or fun, by the way.)
For the most part, if my son is acting out, I need look no further than my own self to find the reason. It could be something obvious: Am I out of sorts today? Mad at my husband? Feeling sick? Overwhelmed? Or it could be something more subtle: In the back of my mind, am I feeling stuck in some old thought patterns? Am I being unloving to myself? Am I being critical of myself?
Any child will pick up on the more obvious negative vibes and act out - that's a given. However, intuitive kids will pick up on the subtle vibes as well, so as you can imagine, life can get pretty challenging pretty quickly if we aren't paying attention. We need to continually practice keeping our thoughts and actions in alignment with our values so that our energy remains clear and positive.
For me, this has meant recommitting to a practice of daily meditation and journaling. I've been journaling daily for four months now, and meditating daily for four days. (Yeah, well … we're all a work in progress, aren't we? You can help remind me and keep me on track with the latter.)
Our children will need to learn how to effectively manage far more energy than we can imagine. When we discipline ourselves to manage our own energy, we are providing a powerful model for them.
I also mentioned presence as an important theme in my parenting approach. I've written about it here, here, here, and at length here, so I won't go into detail about it in this post. Please do read the other posts, though, especially that last one. Suffice it to say, it's REALLY IMPORTANT!
I know there is so much more to discuss on this subject and I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg. Being authentic and present – for any parent - is a good start, though, don't you think?
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