Want to know how to be a great mom and loving wife?
Take a break.
Without the child and hubby, that is.
Sunday, I spent the day taking an art workshop at the San Diego Art Department. Mixing and blending colors with vivid and creamy oil pastels was soothing therapy in and of itself. Learning a new skill filled my soul, while my mind practically tingled with new neural connections! I reveled in the luxury of focusing my attention on one thing for three hours without interruption.
Here is one result - my first oil pastel:
Add to this the bonus that I took the class with a friend, and afterward, we went to Heaven Sent Desserts for decadent treats and delightful conversation. Nirvana in an afternoon!
All of this deliciousness, creativity, and soul-pampering yielded a happier-than-normal mommy and wife at the end of the day. I returned home as the cheerful, easy-going and good-natured woman I aspire to be. I was able to relax on the couch with Toby while we watched Lucas perform his latest guitar moves for us. Lucas' impromptu performance reminded us that there was probably a free summer concert going on in one of the parks nearby. I looked it up and found one that was due to begin at 6pm. It was 5:30 at the time.
I am pleased to say that my normal needs for order and planning ahead were subdued in my post-art/chocolate euphoria, and I quickly prepared an unplanned picnic dinner, while Toby packed the boy, a blanket and chairs into the car.
Aside from one incident of backseat driving, I went with the flow uncharacteristically well. I didn't get anxious about finding a parking spot. I didn't worry about missing the first part of the concert. I didn't snap at Toby for … well, anything. I didn't fret about having to sit so close to other people. I just … enjoyed.
And because of that, Lucas and Toby were able to enjoy themselves that much more. I'd love all of our family outings to go that well. Since my mood seems to be the biggest determining factor, I see it as my responsibility, really, to do more things that help me feel filled and happy.
What do you do just for yourself to feel filled and happy?
9 comments:
A couple times a month i get out with a friend or meet up with a group of amazing women and not only am I filled by the company I am with but also by just being out on my own without being a wife or a mommy. I then return home rejuvenated and happy!!!
I attend a meditation group three times a month and I see friends for dinner a couple times a month. I write. I'm taking a fabulous nonviolent communication class/group right now that meets once a week. One time I went to Goodwill and tried on clothes for an hour and bought myself some new jeans. That was practically revolutionary -- spending the time on my own to try on clothes! :)
One thing I've been realizing lately is that a lot of the things I do are somehow related to parenting (one of the meditation groups is for parents, the nvc class is inspired so I can better connect to my kids, self and spouse)... There is not a lot of unstructured "whatever" time. I am hoping to add more of that in as time goes on.
P.S. Your painting is fabulous!
Janine~ I feel the same way about my group of amazing women I meet with. :) Getting away from our daily roles gives us much-needed perspective, doesn't it?
Stacy~ I feel you with the Goodwill story! Sounds lovely! It's amazing what now feels like luxury, huh?
Your realization about who is served by your activities is a very perceptive one. While these all sound like FANTASTIC ways of spending time, and I'd love to join you in each of them, I think you're on to something when you say you'd like to add more unstructured "whatever" time, in which YOU are the key person who benefits from the activity.
And thanks so much for your compliment on my artwork. I appreciate it!
Cheers!
Alexis
Alexis, This is SO TRUE! I like to take long walks along the beach, just me and the dog. I like to go out to coffee shops late at night, and read, or meet a friend. Yoga classes do this for me too, which I only recently resumed at a studio, after doing DVDs at home for the last couple of years. Now that my youngest are a bit older, I have resumed doing occasional weekend retreats with favorite spiritual teachers too, and it is wonderful. Namaste- Lisa
Lisa ~ Why am I not surprised that you have so many wonderful, soul-nourishing practices in place? :) Coffee shops late at night? That was an intriguing one!
Cheers!
Alexis
I love the painting, Lex! You are my favorite artist. : )
Thanks so much, Mia! xoxo
Cheers to you for finding time for YOU. I'm a huge advocate for incorporating Me Time and truly believe self care and alone time will make us better moms. Your art class sounds wonderful.
Thanks for the support, Stacey!
Cheers!
Alexis
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