I wonder if I'll have to write about this every month.
I keep hoping that with greater awareness and appropriate accommodations, I will eventually make it though the two days preceding my period with just a little bit of grace and without sending my sensitive son over the edge.
I'm just not there yet.
It's not for lack of effort. Unlike previous months, I was watching the calendar, and I knew it was coming. I gave my husband a good 4-day warning so he'd be prepared, just in case I forgot about the grace part. I held off on the caffeine, sugar, wheat and dairy (Well, except for those two Haagen Dazs bars – Have you tried the salted caramel ones yet? Divine!). I even went so far as to thin out the calendar for the rest of the week, and only make plans that would feel relaxing. In other words, I was trying to be proactive in removing all triggers for bad behavior.
But …
When I woke up yesterday, at the apex of hormonality, the very air around me was irritating beyond belief. I didn't plan for that.
It was all downhill from there.
Coincidentally, as happens every month at this time, Lucas, too, had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, complete with lots of whining, tantruming, demanding and stonewalling. (Oh, and we just switched to big-boy underwear this week [I know – horrible planning!] so you can add peeing everywhere to the list.)
I don't even remember now what he did to warrant this response from me, but I actually said to him, "Lucas - God! You're bugging the hell out of me today!" (Not proud. Not proud at all. ) He ratted me out by saying the exact same phrase to my husband, inflections and all.
Luckily, (or so I thought) the plan for the morning was to relax at the beach under a shady umbrella with my friend and her son, who is Lucas' favorite buddy. You would think this would be a good plan for a PMS-day, wouldn't you? The boys would run around and play with their sand toys, while my friend and I would relax and enjoy catching up.
Not so much.
Between the lugging of gear, the peeing, the incessant demanding of snacks, the peeing, the fighting over toys, the sand throwing, the crying, and the peeing, we were exhausted within the hour and packed it up to leave, with the promise that the next beach day would be without kids.
The rest of the day wasn't much better. You get the idea.
Today? A completely different story. I got to circle the date on my calendar, and all was peace and love in my world. All was cuteness and cooperation with Lucas. Yesterday's drama and frustration were behind us, and it seemed crazy that it could have been so awful when only such a small thing had changed.
So what have I learned this time around?
- Cheating with Haagen Dazs maybe does make a difference with the hormones. (Drats to this one.)
- Go NOWHERE for the 2 days before my period. Even if it seems like a calm, peaceful idea, don't do it. Just say no.
- If possible, have someone else take Lucas out of the house for the day before my period – the apex. He would have been fine if he hadn't been absorbing all my jagged energy all day.
3 comments:
Alexis - Oh wow, this is a big one for me. This is partly how I got interested in the differences in women's and men's energy bodies and chakra systems, and particularly the 2nd chakra. Have you read anything by Dr. Christine Northrup or Donna Eden on this? They are some of my sources for that info, as well as Tibetan Buddhist tantric systems.
Anyway, the main idea is that we have this naturally inward-turning phase right before our period. Ideally, we would live alone in a cave, or at the very least only with other women, during this time each month. It is actually our most intuitive time. But when we are forced to deal with other people, this sensitivity becomes so acute their actual energy drives us crazy. So there is this interplay between this energy movement, our hormones and our spiritual needs (mind/body/spirit.)
I have not yet fully worked out the solution for myself too. But basically, time alone is the most important thing. Exercise for me is also absolutely essential, to burn off the energy I absorb from others. There's alot of other things I think we can do to care for our 2nd chakras during the entire month, which can help during this time, but it's not all realistic.
Anyway, interesting topic, to say the least! - Lisa
It's helpful for me to read about your experiences and ideas. Sometimes it feels impossible for me to not be triggered no matter how hard I try. Time alone seems to be the only solution in those circumstances, and I have yet to figure out how to plan far enough ahead to have the time alone when I really need it. Your thoughtfulness is inspiring!
And I agree -- I never really find it very relaxing to go to the beach with young kiddos unless it's a spontaneous, short trip. Otherwise, it just seems like too much stuff for me to deal with!
Lisa~ How very interesting to look at this hypersensitivity through the lens of intuition! I haven't read those sources, but will check into them. I think your second chakra tune-ups from the MP3s you created (http://mommymystic.wordpress.com/tag/chakra-meditation/) would be helpful, in light of what you shared. It's taken me a while to hone in on the importance of alone-time, as well, and I'm more and more clear about how vital it is. It's nice to think of it as a spiritual practice rather than simply isolating myself so I won't do any harm, like some sort of PMS werewolf. :)
Stacy~ Maybe you're on to something ... scheduling babysitting or trips to the grandparents according to our cycles so we can have guaranteed alone-time! If we're somewhat predictable, it can work fabulously! I think we should all try this for next month and compare notes!
And yes - the hassle of this beach thing is rather disappointing. Living in San Diego, I had visions of Lucas as a beach baby, but the reality is just more hassle than its worth.
Thanks to you both for your sisterhood. You've both given me excellent ideas for next month! :)
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