43 years of life. As of today, that’s how long I’ve had so far to get it together, discover who I want to be, explore what it means to be human, and learn how to peacefully coexist on this planet with other beings. It seems like it ought to have been ample time in which to accomplish those things; to check them off my to-do list and relax a little. And yet …
As we well know, it’s never done. Learning how to be the best person/mother/wife/friend/daughter/teacher/writer/dancer/whatever I can possibly be is never going to get done. What’s more, for all the growth I make at any given point in time, I can’t even count on it continuing in any sort of linear trajectory. Momentum builds on momentum … until it doesn’t. And sometimes when it peters out, the backwards slide picks up a little more speed than I’d like, and I find myself starting over again, climbing back out of familiar territory I thought I’d already left behind. The good news about re-navigating familiar territory is that it is, indeed, familiar. As galling as it is to retrace my steps, at least it’s easier and faster with some experience under my belt.
And that’s the name of the game, isn’t it? That’s what experience is all about – knowing that the next time a situation comes around, you have more tools (and hopefully, grace) with which to handle it. I suppose some might call that wisdom. I’m grateful to have a bit of it. I’m grateful to have many areas of my life that continue to challenge me to evolve. It isn’t always comfortable to grow, but the alternative just isn’t very interesting.
And so … here’s to 43 years on this planet as Alexis. Thank you to all of you who have touched my life in one way or another. It all matters.